January 2018アーカイブ

Wearing Holland

When I put my paints to my canvas, I put it for appearing some distance. The distance was replaced to colors. It can reword that I put the paints to appear some closeness. The closeness as if I was working with selfless service for paints (not feeling like making something for my satisfaction). 

The distance that I said is not the one between me and some exterior matters. It is about me and some internal matters. Between me and the world, an internal world.   

When I find it, I could feel it as a discovery.  The discovery comes at the end, and it becomes the title of the painting.  And the work is finished.   

After I moved to Holland, the difficulty has been started. It started slowly. You never know when you are get in. Changing languages, environments around me, and many encounters with another artist and their words. That made me doubting myself. When I realized it, I was already in the difficulty of working. Feeling like my inner world is disappeared that I thought surely I had. 

During this difficult term, I was sometimes thinking that if I can make some paintings about "wearing". 

I was interested in how I choose my clothes. When I withdraw some items from the cabinet. When I grab something at the showcase-window. That is not about fashion.  It is improvisational contact of me and the world (the world = maybe the inner world that I thought I lost. It happens mostly in the dark).  

But it was difficult to catch the distance of the improvisational contact. If the items that you are wearing, the items you take off is too far, the items you are wearing is too close. 


After 11 years of life in Holland I moved back to Japan. I loved my life in Holland, but I realized that I didn't miss Holland much as I imagined.  But in winter. When the air becomes colder and colder, and/or the rainy days continues and continues, I feel like I am wearing the air of Holland. Freshly I knew that there is a cloth that directly appears from my skin. Even it is invisible, I was wearing Holland. (That was a touching moment. In Japanese blog I wrote a Japanese idiom that means "acquire" or "learn" and "wear" in one single phrase, Mi-ni- Tsukeru, to put something on your body.) 


I doubted me if I am thinking like a naked king (an invisible dress). But I didn't buy it from anyone. I just have it. It is my cloth, no, it is my song. 


このページには、January 2018に書かれたブログ記事が新しい順に公開されています。

前のアーカイブはApril 2016です。