My Holland

I think I made some closeness by my paintings. The distance is replaced to colors, and the colors became a manner of the paintings. That is one of reasons why my paintings are so big, I guess. The closeness made me feel as if I am selfless servicing for paints/paintings.

The distance that I said is not about between me and some exterior matters somewhere around me. (The distance of the exterior matters are basically between me and the canvas. About the studio, the floor also becomes the matter.) "The distance" is between me and some inner location which is placed by paints. That is a discovery.  The discovery comes in the end, and it becomes the title of the painting.  And the work is finished.

After I moved to Holland, I had difficulty of thinking. Thinking with different languages, a different manner and a different way of looking. And living with a different name. Things around me were messy and the answers are always more than one and hard to make one single choice.

During this difficult term, I've started to have some thoughts about "wearing". I felt something when I withdraw some items from the closet one by one. When I grab something at the showcase-window.  That is not about fashion but an improvisational contact to the world. It is happened in the dark. And it is difficult to find the distance because it is an action like, 'leap before you look'. Like making drawings.

After years of life in Holland I moved back to Japan. Funnily I wasn't aware of I miss Holland or not until my friend asked me.  But in winter. When the air becomes colder and colder, and/or the rainy days continues and continues, my body already knew it. I was feeling like I was wearing the air of Holland.

I wrote about it to him and said "I do miss Holland".  But with joy because that is my song.


graffiti, Sosuke


このページは、tomokoがMay 7, 2018 3:08 PMに書いたブログ記事です。


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